Tums

Tue, 21 Feb 2006 02:31:15 GMT

What's wrong with a ticklish butt? That is not a rare thing, right?

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 01:50:49 GMT

I took off school and work today. I hate being sick. Especially when it's only the second week of school.

My car has officially taken a shit. I'm supposed to go look at some new ones tomorrow. It's only been a week without a car and I'm going crazy. I really hope we find something tomorrow.

On a brighter note, I have a second interview, this time with the Lt. who's been assigned my background check, next week Wednesday. I hope all goes well.

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 00:30:11 GMT

Have you ever talked to a friend on the phone and it just seem awkward. Like the first time since you've been friends neither know what to say so you resort to mere small talka. Crazy how you see yourself with a certain group/single friend(s)as you get older and one day you find yourself simply cut out of the picture.

Once again I find myself surrounded only by my guy friends...

Complaints..........

none.

Long time...

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 06:29:11 GMT

I haven't used this thing forever. I can't believe it's already been over a year and half since I graduated high school. It's crazy to see where we are now compared to then. Some of us in school, some across the country, and some across seas. I just found out another one of my friends is joining a branch of military. I've, like most, already have friends that are serving, but I guess this one hits me harder than the rest. He's been there for everything for a long time and i've gotten too used to it. What I'm trying to say is I'm going to miss him alot.

As a change of subject, the past year and a half...
College, work, bills, moving out, more bills. That's basically been my past year and a half. I'm still dating Josiah. We actually got in a big debate today. It all started with me asking for a video at blockbuster and the guy there going out of his way and me making him blush. I was not flirting though. Anyways, he says I flirt all the time and he's simply learned to block it out. Two friends' opinions determined that I am not a flirt, just an open and friendly person. He he he, I won. The only debate getting old between us is him questioning my relationship with a young teacher I had my freshman year. He says it doesn't bother him that we still stay in touch, but it always throws it in my face. It's almost always in a joking manner, however that is how he usually deals with issues that bother him. For the record there is nothing between my old teacher and I, he simply helps give me advice because he's going for a masters and hoping to end up in a somewhat similar field as myself. He's even helped give Josiah advice before concerning a TA. I took a creative writing class last semester, which was amazing. I got to write out a murder mystery type chapter book and read everyone elses submissions. There were some really good ones and some really out there stories. Two film students submissions were my favorites.

Classes start on Monday and I'm really excited. I am such a dork that as soon as I selected my courses I checked out books on the subjects to begin studying. Now that I've actually bought the books for the courses, I have began reading all of those also. I really do sound like a nerd, don't I?

Some things never change...I still babble.

When I act girly I act exceptionally girly

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 05:11:18 GMT

So I pull over into some parking lot on the way to my friend's house to get a wasp out of my car tonight. As I was leaving I was trying to keep up with the person I was following and cut off this guy. He lays on the horn, but slows down as if he was going to park. Next thing I know, I'm exiting the parking lot, the guy hits the gas and all I can think of is not fucking again! Yes I was chased by yet another person taken over by road rage.
Later,
Tums

Today = Summerfest withdraws

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 05:01:35 GMT

highlight of all my nights at summerfest:
~Going to see Steve Miller and the Bodeans with two of my friends.
~forgeting our marcus amp. tickets in the car and having to stop the bus, get off the bus, walk all the way back to the fucking car and wait for the next bus.
~Not telling the truth for a friend to a bunch of guys, but a little too out of it to lie. Solution: Questioning guy: so, blah blah blah? blah blah? blah?!
Me: Oh, my stomach...Christy can I have some water? (take sip,
then simply walk away and sit by people on a picnic table)
~Passing for well over my age.
~The Joan Jett and The Blackhearts concert
~drunk people trying to 'read my shirt'
~of course, no one can forget: THE FOOD. However, I never did get my funnel cake.
~OVERALL: ALL THE FUNNY FUCKED UP PEOPLE! I LOVE SUMMERFEST!

The sad thing is I find it halarious to just sit back and watch everyone. That sounds kinda creepy, huh. A little off the subject, but I just want to state that things really aren't always as they seem and that I myself need to be careful in determining what I know and what I assume (aka. what i judge). Some people are bigger assholes than I predict, where as others are nothing as I thought they were. Some people continue to surprise me.

later,
~Tums~

SUMMERFEST IS COMING!!!! YIPPPPEEEE!!!!! That means steve miller band!!!

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 00:41:17 GMT

I've been extremely anxious lately...maybe key west would do me some good...hmmm. Who wants to take a trip with me???

Visited my grandparents, it's not right. There's always 2 sides to the story, but no one cares, they're the grown-ups and I supposively made private issues public, I supposively royally fucked up.

I HATE FATHER'S DAY. I spent god knows how long looking for a card. I ended up having to decide between the 2 most impersonal cards they had. I felt so stupid, because as I was reading the rest of the cards I started crying. After I picked a card Josiah gave me his keys and let me go to the car. Sometimes it's nice having people know you that well.

Later,
Tums

Mon, 31 May 2004 05:08:21 GMT

Was Jay's 21st birthday yesterday. I never thought it would be so much fun watching him get trashed and sit there playing cards with a bunch of guys and jay's dad.<--who I may add is cool as all hell. Anyways, I still haven't talked to my dad yet...going on what, 3 weeks now. Pretty sad that I haven't made that a priority, huh?

Later,
Tums

Mon, 31 May 2004 05:04:07 GMT

You ever sit there and simply watch the people around you and wonder if any of them truly care?

Tue, 11 May 2004 17:46:15 GMT

Sitting in econ right now. Big presentation tomorrow. "Working with you is fun, because you always argue." Compliment...hmm...sure. lol. I need a nice little vacation! I think it's about time to throw another _____. Anyways, I want to start writing again. Something new, something different...now all I need is a bright new idea. Well, I guess I'd better head to stagecraft.

Later,

Tums

Tue, 11 May 2004 00:17:58 GMT

You know, I thought things were getting better between my father and I. I thought he changed in the aspect that he begun to have a mind of his own. I was wrong. Terribly wrong. "Joan will not be contacting you." Should that make me happy or sad. He left a message...not a happy one. "What exactly were you trying to gain" I wasn't trying to gain anything. I had been writing that production for a year. I needed another story line to stick in. Someone once said that you can find bits and pieces of the writer within her writing. Well, that was that part. That was what was effecting me most at that time. Someone else once said that you must always protect your main character, they must be perfect. I never understood that. I wanted it to be realistic and that portion showed that the main character had faults too. That it wasn't simply the people around her. I wanted to prove that life isn't a perfect movie, and no one should be made to think it is. I wanted to show onstage what happens in many teenager's lives now a days. I touched dove into physical abuse and thought I should touch on the fact that all abuse isn't merely physical, some is emotional too. Life throws many situations at you, and the outcome depends on how you handle it and what you get out of the situation. I put that in the script before I thought it would be on stage. When I began the production I kept it in, because taking it out was taking too much away. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I guess no matter how unintensional it was, I did and I don't understand why. It's not like I added bad lines to make certain characters look worse. All that 'bad' and 'hurtful' words that came out of those 2 character's mouths onstage came straight from the people off stage. If they find it so terrible, then when did/do they see no wrong in when they said it themselves?

1st and only time you will see Good Charlotte quoted in my journal....

"I remember the days that you were a hero in my eyes, but those were just a long lost memory of mine."

Later

Tums

Sun, 09 May 2004 15:33:10 GMT

It's all done. In some ways it's good, I guess, but I'm really going to miss being around those people everyday. Both performances went well, and after yesterday's I joined the cast on stage and they gave me roses with a checkered print ribbon and one of the advertisement posters framed and signed by the entire cast. Ms. Donahue gave me a note that made me want to cry. It's all pretty wierd, I mean this IS THE LAST SHOW. I'm just really going to miss it. I'm going to miss the theater, the people, even hell weeks. Oh, and thank you everyone for the flowers. My kitchen table upstairs is covered and I wouldn't be surprised that if a stranger walked into the house, they'd think someone died. j/k. I feel bad though, I left the cast parties early both nights. If I could change one thing it would have been not to be sick on performance nights so I could have hung out w/ cast and crew a little longer.

Fri, 16 Apr 2004 05:30:04 GMT

First day of work....boring
night hanging out with people from my past...fun...somewhat...fun except for the part in being tricked into hanging out with one person from my past in particular...kind of ironic...talking to people about a play which was partially inspired by the one listening to the conversation...quite ironic...

later,
tums

Wed, 07 Apr 2004 14:27:52 GMT

I am so tired! It seems like no one understands. Once we get back from spring break we've only got one full week of rehearsal with the entire cast. And it's most likely going to take that long to get back where we are now: no where near performance level. I'm getting nervous about the show. I'm nervous about my best friend and my 'relationship'. He understands my reasons why, but I still know that I'm hurting him and I hate that. I'm still deciding about college. Put in my two weeks and got screamed at by my boss about how my desicion to quit is 'unethical' and how if I were his son he'd 'cloak me' and demostarted on himself that he's hit him in the ear. Quite interesting having to sit there and listen to details about how I'd be beat if I were his son. Have to go in again tomorrow and all day Saturday. I'm dreading both. I had to call and ask my father for help the other day and...well, let's just say I think things are back to normal. I am once again thought of as to have become a person he can't stand. Lately it seems even the littlest decesions frustrate me. I mean I skipped lunch the other day simply because I could decide what I wanted. Crazy, huh? I just want everything to fall into place with college, my dad, etc, and I pray that this play goes ok. If I send a video tape of the performance to one of the colleges and it's good, they told me I'd have a good shot at a scholarship. I know, I know, some of you are thinking: "I told you so." I'm not completely freaking out yet, just getting a little overwhelmed because I'm trying to do everything myself. Well, I guess I'd better go finish my english homework.
Later,
Tums

I hate this!

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 01:56:03 GMT

I hate feeling like things are falling apart. I hate feeling guilty. I hate not feeling as if I've gained freedom by quiting my job. I hate the feeling I got when a fellow employee looked as if they were going to cry. Especially when it was a guy. I hate the feeling I got when I saw my boss's (the one that I have no respect for) smile disappear and face sink along with the feeling in my stomach. I hated crying as I drove home. I hate everything that is going on right now. I hate having to 'find myself' without him. I just hate it all. I jsut want to sit down and cry, but I find it harder to do that without a shoulder to cry on.

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 18:35:25 GMT

This sucks!

I'm not ready....

I'm just not ready....

I'm sorry.

And there was the first

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 18:52:01 GMT

Auditions went well last night, well at least I think they did. One donahue mishap, but most of the people whom tried aren't were amazing. Not merely by acting, they just...just fit. It was nice having people there that were supportive of this being the first time i've directed. It was actually quite relieving when a couple told me not to worry, that it would be fine. And the even better thing is I didn't bore them to death. A couple even said they had fun before they left. Well, I guess I'd better go finish my econ. Hope callbacks go just as well tonight. ~*cross fingers*~
Later,
Tums

~Happiness~

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 02:06:09 GMT

Today we posted the audition notices. I'm really excited, but started to get a little nervous. Cut out a few characters and now have the cast down to 11. I think I can handle it. Adam keeps saying shit and it's making me even more nervous. I have to say, the one thing that was hanging over my head was that someone mentioned it 'turning into another batman.' Honestly, I don't know what to do with that. Just figure I will give it my best shot and hopefully with the help of all thsoe who are supporting me and this play, it will turn out to it's full potential. Oh, auditions are Thursday the 18th (yes, next thursday) at 3:00 in the drama room. Get as many people to come as you all can, it'll be great fun! hehehe:) Well, guess I'd better go finish my english.
Later,
Tums

Josiah came to school for a little while today. This is the first time I've been walked to class by a boyfriend... kind of wierd...but quite nice at the same time. I really wish a lot of the people that graduated last year were still there this year. It would make school a lot more interesting.

Sun, 29 Feb 2004 06:27:20 GMT

Went to MN again this weekend. I actually liked it better this time. I don't like it in the winter. That last statement is important because I would be up there from fall until like the end of winter. You know, the two colleges I thought I wanted to go to for my first year or so, and now neither thrill me. I feel that neither quite fit, and that if I go to either I will be missing out on something. If I go to MN I will be leaving and maybe losing friendships, family, basically anything and everything I know. Which yes, that sounds like something that is needed, but the question is what am I leaving everything I love to experience? The answer: A shitty housing unit, two showers for god knows how many people, long walk to take a piss, bus to get to school, even colder/snowier weather, small town in the middle of no where, and not very good school. Then why don't I just go to Milwaukee? Because, I will remain the same. The same group of friends, same house, same bedroom, and more partying. However, better school. And another thought. If I go to MN my housing, tuition, and food is all paid for, and no cell phone. THe only thing I'd really have to pay for is gas when I'd come home. On the other hand, if I go to UWM my tuition is paid, I'd still have a cell and pay for that, and I'd pay for gas to commute everyday and I'd also pay for most of my food. I realize I sound spoiled right now, but I'm broke, and at the same time I'd kind of like having to get a job my first year of college be a choice instead of a requirement. I have no idea what I'm going to decide and I haven't much time to make my decision. The largest part of me just wants to run. To go somewhere that isn't here and see something new, meet new people, actually grow, rather than stay here and have my mind shrink to the level of yet another red neck hick.
Later,
Tums

Thu, 12 Feb 2004 22:47:47 GMT

My eye doctor is great! Yes, I had fun at a doctor's office. They sent my out wearing these grandma sunglasses plastic thingys with my regular glasses over it. That was an amusing drive home, people are so funny! I looked like a bug! It's a bug. lol. Show tonight, all should come.
Later,
Tums

Convo with my mother

Thu, 12 Feb 2004 02:54:39 GMT

Me: Make this pimple go away!!!
Mom: I don't know, why don't you put some---
Me: Don't tell me toothpaste again.
Mom: Why not?
Me: Don't you remember?
Mom: No.
Me: Last time I put toothpaste on a zit I woke up the next morning to find that it ate it!

Advice for the day: DO NOT use toothpaste to clear up you face

Thu, 12 Feb 2004 02:44:56 GMT

Matinee today... I love crew!

I'm covered in fairy dust!

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 16:31:54 GMT

Sorry about the last entry. I'm better now....I think. lol. I joined run crew for the Wiz. I would have never thought that even as a senior in high school, working with theater would to this day make me feel content. It doesn't matter what's going on in my life, because the stage is like a completely different one, it really is a nice excape when needed.
Laterz,
Tums

Wed, 04 Feb 2004 00:57:07 GMT

I know, I know...I only write in here to bitch and moan about something new. I'm sorry. It's just the only time I really get to write in here is when I've got no one to talk to. And right now, I've got no one to talk to. All I can do right now is sit here and cry. The temptation to call and talk to someone is strong, but few even have a clue. So, why don't I call one of those few you ask? Well, all except one basically aren't around. Why not call that one? Well, because that one is at work until 2am. And if I call, and they notice something is wrong, which they will, then they will quit. I don't want them to quit, that would be selfish. I just hate this feeling, the feeling that I am losing my best friend. I'd go into what is mainly wrong, but I don't feel taking the time to make this entry private. See not many have any idea, and I guess I'd like it to stay that way. Have I ever said how much I hate the internet? It's so impersonal, and fake. Fuck this...later
Tums

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 16:34:29 GMT

I went up to visit a college a couple weekends ago. Still have not made up my mind, but the trip was worth it. We drove through the storm, it was like a neverending white out. We took the highway most of the way, and I fell asleep for awhile. I woke up to the entire car spinning across the highway and then off. The funny thing was that once the car stopped spinning Josiah and I both reacted with "are you ok....are you sure your ok." THe car didn't get any damage, and for the first time you will hear me say this: seatbelts actually help once in awhile. Well, I gave my script to both Bingen and Donahue. Last time I checked Bingen was a third through it, and I have no idea how far Donahue is. Saturday I helped move my friend out of her house. Although I am sort of afraid to move out, I am looking forward to it. I'm not sure whether i'm leaving my first year or not. Aren't I supposed to have like my entire life planned out by now? Oh well, I guess I'm don't have "direction" like I supposively should.
Later,
Tums

Tums

Long time...

When I act girly I act exceptionally girly

Today = Summerfest withdraws

SUMMERFEST IS COMING!!!! YIPPPPEEEE!!!!! That means steve miller band!!!

I hate this!

And there was the first

~*Happiness*~

Convo with my mother

I'm covered in fairy dust!

~Happiness~